Year: 2025

Some Thoughts on Raising Bilingual and Bicultural Kids (and young adults….)

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Many parents wonder how fluent their children can realistically become in Chinese while growing up overseas. The reality is that even with steady exposure and strong home support, reaching the equivalent of a native elementary school graduate by age 18—or achieving ILR Level 3 (professional working proficiency) to Level 4 (full professional proficiency)—is quite difficult ( ~2/3 CLE Exposure Time for ILR Level 3 or Above).   For my daughters, age 22 and 19 now, I would say that their overall Chinese are ILR Level 4. For us, the particular curriculum and instruction were the easy part.  The difficult part was providing the CLE all the way into their teens, which creates the psychological construct required to sustain such learning. 

What matters most is aligning expectations with your family’s priorities, resources, and your child’s interests. Some children may take to it naturally, while others may reach a solid low-to-intermediate level and still feel connected to their heritage. If they become more interested later, they can always pursue higher-level study in college or beyond (Advice & Thoughts).

From my own experience—having emigrated from Taiwan at age 11—I realized in college during the early 1990s that many of my peers from Chinese-speaking homes, even those whose parents founded Chinese schools, had very limited proficiency despite years of study.  Later, after going through the American education system ourselves, my wife and I decided not to focus on having our children learn things just for college applications.  We realized that many activities have long-term value that only becomes clear in college or well into adulthood (Reflections on Two Decades of Bilingual Parenting).

One area we did prioritize was Chinese proficiency, despite the enormous time and effort it demanded—and its limited utility, by itself, for college applications – Chinese AP, in particular (非常低 C/P 值). On the other hand, we only know one adult in the U.S. who regrets not learning a classical musical instrument better in childhood—and that person happens to be fluent in Chinese. So, we decided to let go of classical instruments, a stereotypically “college-application-worthy” pursuit. After all, their instrumental skill (or the lack thereof) wouldn’t typically affect their future children’s musical ability—most parents just hire a teacher. I only wish learning Chinese were that simple.

For my daughters, not speaking, reading, or enjoying Chinese was nearly impossible in their childhood. It was woven into almost every aspect of our home life through the CLE framework we built. The foundation of their entertainment, joy, laughter, and family connection was built through the language. 

My original goal was to bring their practical Chinese close to a native grade-school level, and we were on track by their early teens.  After moving from rural North Carolina to suburban Atlanta, when my daughters were 11 and 14, I discovered the value of Chinese debate. They were the first two students in a new program and Chinese debate and tournaments were the missing pieces for them, combining advanced practical Chinese across listening, speaking, reading, and composition, while also being “college application” worthy.  It raised their practical Chinese to near high school level – and best of all, the coach did most of the heavy lifting!  This experience inspired me to launch in my spare time an online Chinese debate program with coaches in Taiwan five years ago for the benefit of qualified students and parents, even well after my daughters graduated from high school (ichinesedebate.com).

The discipline and exposure they gained from Chinese debate carried over into their academic and professional lives.  Recently, my older daughter, who is taking a gap year or two before applying to graduate medical programs, began working at a medical practice run by a Chinese physician.  Her bilingual skill and conscientiousness quickly made her invaluable to many patients and the practice.  My younger daughter, now a college sophomore, recently shifted her research direction and landed a fantastic oncology research position through her Taiwanese American network. She is extremely busy this year in her studies, also serving as a recruiter for the student venture capital firm and treasurer for her college’s TASA (Taiwanese American Student Association). I’m glad she has a steady Taiwanese American boyfriend there!  (He seems like a nice guy – we all met up briefly outside Taipei 101’s 鼎泰豐 before the two of them had lunch there over the summer. 🤣 )

One other aspect that I would emphasize is that I raised my daughters in broadly western tradition while helping them stay aware of basic Chinese and Taiwanese history, philosophy, and tradition.  Some of the American films we enjoyed together included The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, Sense and Sensibility, the Pride and Prejudice miniseries, North and South, Gone with the Wind, Star Trek (I’m a Trekkie), Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, Forrest Gump, Star Wars, and plenty of rom-coms (Notting Hill, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, and others).   We also watched our share of Chinese and Taiwanese dramas and movies, both period and modern.  It might have been too much screen time for some families – but we loved it!  Those shared experiences provide them the cultural background and emotional context for me to explain and for them to understand both worlds – their similarities and differences.  This may be an often-overlooked part of upbringing.

In many ways, my daughters have grown to resemble me – bilingual and bicultural, like many youth immigrants.  Raising bilingual children (and young adults😅) is a long, evolving journey.  From our experience, emphasizing engagement over perfection and blending culture naturally into language, has made it both effective and joyful.  Every family’s path will be different, but thoughtful planning, realistic goals, and creativity can help children develop strong language skills while enjoying the process.

A few posts you may find useful:

My Top Lessons for Raising Strong Bilingual Skills in Chinese and English

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Different families follow different paths—but here’s what worked successfully for ours.

My Philosophy: Two First Languages (L1–L1), with Shifting Emphasis

Not “L1 English and L2 Chinese.”
What we optimized for: native-like speaking, strong reading (including novels), and comfortable typing composition.
What we didn’t chase: handwriting proficiency or written tests in Chinese.

In the early years, Chinese got many more hours (home time with parents). Later, English caught up through targeted effort and school.

Orthography & tools: We used Traditional characters with zhuyin early; pinyin as needed for typing (which the girls picked up on their own later on); code-switching is allowed but I gently redirect to Chinese during family hours.  Traditional vs. simplified matters less than consistent practice; fluency comes from conscientious repetition.

1) Prioritize Colloquial Fluency First

Principle: Strong spoken skills form the backbone of literacy and long-term fluency.

What I Did:
I made daily Chinese conversation the norm at home. We held read-aloud sessions about five times a week (around 45 minutes each), starting with storybooks and later transitioning to textbooks—helping my children speak naturally and effortlessly. As they grew, I constantly shared life lessons, historical accounts, and world news with them in Chinese.

2) Use Native-Speaker Textbooks for Structure

Principle: Curriculum designed for native speakers ensures authentic learning and appropriate progression.

What I Did:
We used Taiwanese elementary school textbooks, generally reading aloud one chapter per week to fluency.  In general, by third grade, we had completed second-grade material; by sixth grade, we had gone through most of fifth-grade material. We pretty much skipped the written exercises in 參考書 entirely.  Afterwards, during their teen years, DD#1 read Chinese novels extensively while DD#2 benefitted the most from 5 years of rigorous Chinese debate training and tournaments.

3) De-Emphasize Handwriting

Principle: Focus first on comprehension and oral fluency; composition by typing can follow later.

What I Did:
We did brief, targeted character handwriting—basic stroke order plus 10–20 reps per new character during the week we learned it—and then moved on. I didn’t give written tests. As a native speaker, I relied on continuous, low-stress assessment: daily conversation, read-alouds (with real-time tone/pronunciation correction), quick oral Q&A, and extra read-aloud practice when needed.

Why (our trade-off):
Time is limited. I’d rather they—by young adulthood—read fluently at ~7th-grade level (which naturally supports typed composition at ~4th–5th-grade level) than have 2nd- or 3rd-grade reading proficiency with beautiful 2nd-grade handwriting/composition. Prioritizing reading + oral fluency gave us the biggest payoff with the least stress.

How We Assessed—Without Written Tests

  • Daily conversation in Chinese
  • Regular read-alouds with real-time tone/pronunciation correction
  • Quick oral Q&A checks to assess comprehension

This kept the atmosphere calm while still keeping standards high.

4) Build a Strong Chinese Language Ecosystem (CLE)

Principle: Immersion makes the language a natural and constant part of life. 

What I Did:
Our home was stocked with Chinese books, comics, bridge readers, and novels, and my daughters gravitated to Chinese-language pleasure reading first. We used Chinese TV, YouTube, and music extensively. Before middle school, they spent roughly two-thirds of their waking hours in this CLE. English-based schooling made up about 25% of their time on average (roughly 180 school days per year; ~50% of waking hours on school days spent at school).  The point is that regular English schooling doesn’t prevent creating a ~66% Chinese environment overall.

5) Make Chinese Practical, Meaningful, and Fun

Principle: Children learn best when the language serves a real and enjoyable purpose.

What I Did:
In primary school, we created videos, skits, karaoke, and presentations in Chinese. In secondary school, these evolved into a family Chinese pop band, Chinese debate, and FASCA volunteer work—activities that made Chinese lively, meaningful, and rewarding.

IMPORTANT: Creating CLE and making Chinese meaningful are the most difficult part of raising such children.  The instruction method is straight forward, but sustaining their motivation (the psychological aspect) from the tween years on requires additional supports.

Trade-off: Less time for traditional extracurricular activities that colleges may find easier to assess. Outcomes can depend on how one’s college application and essays are framed. Anecdotally, this didn’t limit the overall rigor/ranking of admitting colleges for us, but your mileage may vary. The key is to tell the story—link bilingual activities to leadership, initiative, community impact, and persistence.

My view: I’d rather my children reach near-native Chinese fluency as adults than be similarly proficient in a traditional extracurricular (violin, tennis, etc.) at that age. Of course, very talented kids can do them all and excel!

6) Use the “Open the Gap / Close the Gap” Strategy

Principle: Establish strong Chinese proficiency first, then let English catch up.

What I Did:
We prioritized Chinese in the early years, even if that meant slower English development. From around third grade, we began balancing the two languages, allowing English to catch up over the next 4–5 years through targeted effort while keeping Chinese strong.

7) Use Short Sojourns to Taiwan as “Jump-Start” Opportunities

Principle: Immersion in the culture and among peers accelerates learning.

What I Did:
We traveled to Taiwan about once or twice a year in early childhood. My daughters stayed with grandparents, attended preschool for 1–2 months, and later attended public school for about one month. These trips provided concentrated, authentic exposure to native speakers. (Other families do succeed without this opportunity.)

8) Connect Bilingual Skills to Future Opportunities

Principle: Bilingualism stays motivating when it has visible benefits.

What I Did:
We encouraged our children to highlight Chinese-based experiences—such as band performances, debate, and leadership roles—in their college applications. This reinforced bilingualism as both a personal point of pride and a tangible advantage.

9) Factor in Gender, Disposition, and Intellect

Principle: Individual traits can ease or complicate bilingual acquisition.

What I Did / Found:
In our family, general cognitive and language aptitude played a role, and girls may have a small early advantage before age 10—a critical period for acquiring Chinese—though input quality and quantity mattered most. Sibling dynamics matter: an older sibling fluent in Chinese makes it easier for the younger child. I placed strong emphasis on my older daughter’s Chinese early on, knowing it would benefit her sister later.

Reflections on two decades of bilingual parenting

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It has been almost five years since my last post. My older daughter is now 22, a recent graduate of UNC–Chapel Hill, while my younger one is 19 and a rising sophomore at Johns Hopkins University.

Over the next few posts, I hope to share with fellow parents some “updated” lessons I’ve learned over the past two decades of raising my bilingual children—what has worked, what has changed, and why the effort continues to be worth it.


Current Chinese proficiency and usage
Both daughters still converse with me primarily in Chinese—about 80–90% of the time for my older daughter, and 90–100% for my younger one. Our text messages are about 90% in Chinese. They visit their grandparents in Taiwan every 12–18 months, keeping their language and cultural connections alive.

Toward the end of her freshman year, I noticed that my younger daughter’s Chinese was a bit rusty. Her solution? She rewatched some of her favorite Chinese TV dramas from earlier years. Afterwards, her fluency bounced back—a reminder that consistent exposure, even through media, can make a difference.

Here’s a video my daughters made in the summer of 2024, right after my younger daughter graduated from high school:



How being fluent in Chinese can shape one’s lives
Being bilingual in English and Chinese can lead to opportunities—academic, professional, and personal. To keep this post focused, I’ll share one recent example from my younger daughter’s encounters this past summer.

1. Professional Opportunities in Taiwan
This summer, my younger daughter participated in an intensive five-day medical device innovation program at an advanced laparoscopic (including Da Vinci robotics) training center in Taiwan. It was almost like a crash MBA course, with about 15 hours of work a day. She also had the chance to learn and practice basic laparoscopic skills.

The program brought together physicians, engineers, and business professionals from Taiwan and across Asia. While the instruction was in English, she had countless informal conversations in Chinese—building rapport with staff, exchanging ideas with Taiwanese participants, and expanding her professional network.

As a result, she was able to network with venture capital professionals in Taiwan—an opportunity directly connected to her bilingual skills and healthcare VC involvement in college.

2. Cultural Bonding with Peers
While in Taiwan, she met up with a few Taiwanese international students from her college for a KTV night. They were pleasantly surprised that she knew most of their chosen songs and had watched many of the same Chinese TV shows they grew up with. That shared cultural knowledge instantly deepened their connection.

3. Medical Shadowing Invitations
A friend of mine, a plastic surgeon in Taiwan, treated my daughter (and me!) with some laser work—removing a few spots for her and plenty of sun spots for me. He also offered her the chance to shadow him in the operating room if she’s interested in the future. This, too, was made possible because she could communicate effortlessly and build trust in Chinese.

4. Teaching Chinese Online
Finally, my younger daughter has been teaching Chinese to a few grade school students online this summer, earning some extra spending money. I overheard a couple of her lessons—she’s engaging, patient, and effective. Seeing her pass on the language to the next generation is deeply rewarding.

Takeaway

If one is proficient in Chinese and willing to use it, it’s not just a language skill—it’s a bridge. It opens professional doors, enriches friendships, deepens cultural understanding, and even creates income opportunities.